Zihan (Jacob) Wang and Haixia Lu
“开弓没有回头箭” (kai gong mei you hui tou jian). This is a phrase mentioned not only once but many times over. My mother, who is the closest person to us besides God in this world, can give up everything for us. For us, she gave up her dreams. For us, she no longer pays attention to her image and appearance. For us, she gave her life!
My mother is Haixia Lu, an ordinary woman born in the countryside in the 1970s. At that time, the environment in China was impoverished. Many families were impoverished. My mom’s parents simply cannot afford five siblings to go to school. Therefore, when she finished elementary school, she stopped studying and has been working since then. “开弓没有回头箭”. Her first job was selling Tetris machines in a small mall in Beijing. She lived frugally. After she earned some savings, she returned home and was introduced to my father. They got married. Then, they had my sister and me. From then on, she has given up many things to care for us. They worked very hard, often working day and night, which improved our family’s financial situation. At the end of 2019, she sent me to Saipan to study. “开弓没有回头箭”.
The good times did not last long. On December 12, 2019, my father suddenly passed out in the underground parking lot of a shopping mall. He was found and sent to the hospital. The doctor diagnosed it as a cerebellar disease, and he has been in a deep coma since then. After I heard the news, I rushed back to China immediately. I thought of dropping out of school to care for my father. But under my mother’s firm opposition, I had no choice but to return to Saipan to study. “开弓没有回头箭”.
Not long after, the epidemic in China began to break out, our family’s company closed down, and our family’s income was completely cut off. My tuition and living expenses, my father’s substantial medical expenses, and my family’s debts—the burden of all this was on her shoulders. I wanted to go back and help her many times because I felt sorry for her, but she has always refused, and I can only give up. Although we know how tired she is and how tight the family’s finances are, she has never said a word of hardship.
On January 26, 2023, Dad left us forever. Devastated by the news of my father’s passing, I knew that my mother was the one who suffered the most. However, she said to me over again, “开弓没有回头箭” (kai gong mei you hui tou jian – “There is no turning back when the bow is drawn.”)
I learned that I must endure and move forward. Just like she did, she strongly moved forward despite her struggles. My loving mother taught me the value of not giving up. Now, I sincerely wish her good health and happiness in living the life she wants because she said, “开弓没有回头箭.”
